The Journal

Issue date: 4/14/05 Section: Opinion/Editorial

Steve Houldsworth

My reactions to the event "The Homosexuality Box," in which a speaker explained why he decided to leave the "homosexual lifestyle," are complex. I have great compassion for the speaker, Dan Colombo. He is working through some difficult issues and spoke from his heart about his own experience. He is proof that having same-gender desires and a fundamentalist Christian belief system causes extreme distress.

However, when Colombo turned to the societal implications of his personal opinions on gay and lesbian families, he became a participant in the very oppression that he said was "not authentic Christianity."

I fully respect the choice of everyone to make a personal decision about expressing or not expressing their sexual desires. I know both gay and straight people who have chosen celibacy - not to act on their sexual desires at all. I know women who have chosen to not act on their heterosexual desires and instead enter relationships with women because of their strong commitment to feminism. And, I know men and women who choose not act on their same-gender desires and instead enter relationships with opposite-gender partners because of religious beliefs, financial concerns or social pressures.

While I firmly believe that greater happiness and life satisfaction comes when sexual behavior is congruent with sexual desires, I completely support the freedom of people to make other choices. Unfortunately, I did not hear the same affirmation of choice from the speaker. For Colombo, his sexuality is a struggle - and as a human being, I feel compassion for him. My sexuality is not a struggle, and it would be great if Colombo could accept my truth as I accept his.

Colombo began by apologizing for anti-gay statements and actions of Fred Phelps and others done in the name of Christianity, but later in his talk he took up many, if not all, of those very same anti-gay points of view. For example, Colombo said "there is no such thing as a healthy gay relationship," "same-gender desires are a weakness" and "gays & lesbians cannot be good parents."

Imagine a talk sponsored by a non-Christian group called "The Christianity Box" where an ex-Christian said that there was no such thing as a healthy Christian relationship, that Christian belief is a weakness, and that Christians can not be good parents. I doubt a room full of devout Christians would sit politely through such a talk as did all but one of the 60 or so lesbians, gay men, and bisexuals who attended BSU's event.

Continued...

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