The Journal

Issue date: 11/2/06 Section: LifeStyle

Media Credit: Max Gersh Webster alumnus Joe Millitzer lifts his team's soap box racer onto the scales for a pre-race weigh-in. The team barely made the 176-pound limit at 175 pounds.

Media Credit: Max Gersh Semi-Coherent inches into the lead after a slow start off the ramp.

"Oh, shit!" soap-box driver Joe Millitzer said he thought, seconds before his makeshift 18-wheeler was to be hurled down the 40-foot starting ramp at the Red Bull Soap Box Derby, Oct. 28 in Forest Park.

Millitzer and his teammates, all Webster University alumni, were one of 42 teams from 13 states and two countries competing in the Oct. 28 derby. Forest Park was overrun with Drunken Elvii, seven-foot Cheese Doodles and Japanese schoolgirls - all vying for a spot atop the coveted first place podium. The derby, already a success in Europe, was the first Red Bull race held in America. The grand prize for the winning team would be a VIP trip for five to see the Red Bull NASCAR Nextel Cup racing team compete next year.

The Webster team, nicknamed Semi-Coherent, were inspired by the "Smoky and the Bandit" movies - the trucker-based, speedster flicks starring Burt Reynolds as an outlaw bootlegger. Semi-Coherent members donned flannels, five-gallon hats, sexy police uniforms and faux mustaches in a show of spirit and unity - all in an effort to impress the judges and the fans.

Other teams made similar efforts before the racing even began - one of the most memorable being the jailbird/warden team called Don't Drop the Soap Box, who sang jailhouse ballads in front of the team's car - a rolling prison cell. Another of the fan favorites was the team of Tufts University in Boston engineers and their Mr. Peanut-inspired ride, Los Senores Cacahuetes.

Teams were pitted against one another - and the clock. Twenty heats determined the top four qualifiers, who would go on to race for the championship.

The build-up

Semi-Coherent's team consisted of Joe Millitzer, his wife Katie, Nick Eaton, Riana Spencer and Ron Parres - all 2002 Webster graduates. The team vehicle, a six-foot-long 18-wheeler, complete with "team idol" Burt Reynolds 8 x 10 photograph taped to the cockpit, took six weeks to finish.

"We worked on it two hours a day and all weekend," said Parres, an hour before the race. "Nick (Eaton's) dad had a really great garage/shop in Kirkwood and we built the truck there."

Parres said the team submitted preliminary sketches to Red Bull almost two months ago and began construction immediately upon receiving confirmation from the energy drink company that the sketches had been chosen. Parres said Red Bull reportedly received more than 500 rough plans and narrowed the field to an eventual 42 cars. Red Bull took applications via their Web site and chose the final teams based on creativity and technical prowess.

Many of the rides, including Semi-Coherent, had trouble meeting the weight limit. The cars could not exceed 176 pounds without the driver, and a few teams had to be scratched at race time because the cars were overweight. Luckily for Semi-Coherent, they weighed in at 175 pounds; the team would have been hard-pressed to find anything else to pull off the rig had it come down to it.

Semi-Coherent was built upon a modified riding lawn mower chassis the team found on the Web site Craig's List. The back axle and tires were purchased from Home Depot and the frame was plywood and two-by-fours. The sturdiness of the vehicle was in question, and as one passer-by put it; " There's no way that thing's going to make it."

A trial run was scheduled for Oct. 27 but was cancelled due to the rain. Semi-Coherent's team spirit was never in doubt - but its means of transportation soon would be.

"The ramp remains untested and our car remains untested," Parres said.

When questioned prior to the race about her biggest fear, Katie Millitzer, whose husband Joe would be steering the truck, said flatly, "becoming a widow."

Unfortunately for Semi-Coherent, the rig's maiden voyage would be its last.

The heat is on

Semi-Coherent's rig was hauled up to the top of the 40-foot starting ramp by a system of switchbacks. The team's first heat pitted them against The Family Truckster, a Woody-wagon inspired racer. After being introduced to the crowd from high atop the ramp, each team went into a choreographed dance routine to handpicked music. This portion of the contest also was judged. Semi-Coherent got down to the theme song from "Smoky," while Truckster boogied to the theme song from the National Lampoon vacation movies.

Then it was time to race.

Joe Millitzer, the team's driver, climbed inside the rig while the four members of the crew grabbed hold of the truck, ready for the bobsled-style push start. The drag lights flashed yellow-yellow-green and the race was on - at least for The Family Truckster. The Woody-wagon got a great start and was three-quarters of the way down the ramp before Semi-Coherent even got going.

"We had a horrible start," said Joe Millitzer said. "We were still thinking about dancing."

Semi-Coherent overcame the lackluster launch with a rolling fury that would have made the Bandit proud. Millitzer caught The Family Truckster 100 yards before the harrowing, hairpin turn nicknamed Carnage Corner, and the two were neck and neck as they approached the downhill section of the course.

"I kind of rammed him," Joe Millitzer said. " But he was in my way."

Joe Millitzer was literally rocking back and forth inside the truck, urging his vehicle towards the finish line. This was the closest and slowest race of the day, and with 1,000 feet remaining, Semi-Coherent began to pull away while the Family Truckster began to fall apart - literally.

"I didn't see him crash," Millitzer said. " But I knew we would finish because we were in it for the long haul."

The pits

Semi-Coherents final time, ultimately, was not good enough to qualify for the finals. The winning team was Fast Food, which drew upon the epic Roadrunner versus Coyote chases as inspiration. The people's choice was Quadra-Gnomes, a giant, muscular torso devised by Wash U. students. Although Semi-Coherent didn't take home any hardware, the team was upbeat post-race and ready to begin production for next year's race.

"I would definitely do it again," Parres said. " I think we know now what it takes to win and can use that to our advantage. Plus, nobody died and that's a good thing."

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