The Journal

Issue date: 4/12/07 Section: Opinion/Editorial

Kirk Watkins

Walking down the hallways, the sounds of my shoes squeaking eerily through the dimly lit corridors is interrupted only by the groans of the sick and dying. Periodically, to the left and right there are glimpses into rooms containing sleeping or sedated men and women, reminiscent of corpses lying on their deathbeds. Pale and gaunt, only the terminally ill can assume this position or expression.


The hallways are scattered with patients, left to lie in their rolling deathbeds, alternating between waking and dreaming, sometimes calling out to brothers and sisters who died in battles fought long ago or family members who are no longer there to comfort them.


Can a young man or woman, upon first confronting the reality of life after the military, have even the barest concept of what it is like to exist like this? When I returned from the Gulf War and attempted to incorporate into society, I found myself beset by trials at every step of the process.


I tried to begin the process of finding employment and gaining an education, but was unable to do so because of the onset of the Gulf War Syndrome, a collection of unrelated and mysterious symptoms that was causing problems for many of the returning soldiers.


In 1996, I was diagnosed with central nervous system damage and was instructed to stay indoors with dark sunglasses, and to not exercise because my body could no longer regulate its internal temperature. I was also told I would most likely die or go blind within 10 years.


I was diagnosed initially by a doctor who was, at the time, the head of neuropsychiatry at the UCLA School of Medicine. He was one of a handful of doctors in the United States who was doing any research on Gulf War veterans - not because there was doubt of the legitimacy of the claims, but because the truth about Gulf War Syndrome was beginning to gather steam.


The doctors in the Veterans Hospital system were told not to treat any more Gulf War Veterans for the syndrome, and my doctor was eventually kicked out of the VA hospital system for refusing to capitulate.


I was forced to travel from Denver to Los Angeles once a month because the doctors at the Denver Hospital were following this order. I was treated like a pariah, insulted, ignored and many times completely refused treatment.


The veterans who are returning from the latest battlegrounds in the Middle East are not currently the ones who are finishing their lives in the antiquated facilities of the Veterans Hospital, but when the soldiers who have gone before them pass into the next world and are replaced by today's young veterans, do they deserve to be placed, neglected and alone into the hallways of anonymity?

Continued...

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