2008 Woodie Awards
He Says She Says
Issue date: 10/25/07 Section: He says/ She says
- Page 1 of 1
Dear Guru and Learned,
I have a problem, or I guess it's a problem. I think I'm in love with my professor. I can't concentrate in class any longer. My love for him is really interfering with my life. I don't think he likes me back, but I'm not sure what to do. It's making me crazy!
Please help!
-Having Exasperating Love Problems
He Says:
Dear HELP,
I need more information from you. Is he actually a "professor?" If so, that is worth chasing. That's a nice diamond. If you are able to put all of your efforts into making yourself the new Mrs. (or Mr.), all of your problems will go away.
You say you have all kinds of problems concentrating in class. Why would you need to concentrate when you have him by his heart? You wouldn't even have to show up to class with him on your side.
Now, if you want to play the side of the hard-working student, it still works out in your favor. There is no better way to get good grades on your papers than being in bed with the man that knows the answers. All of the answers.
Think about what would make him just as insanely in love with you. As soon as you find that nerve, grab hold and tug hard. You will get what you want.
-Guru Gersh
She Says:
Dear HELP,
Oh please, you sound like an 11-year-old kid. "I like him. I don't know if he likes me back. Hee hee."
Crushes are cute, class distractions are not - especially if this guy's older than you. What are you going to do? Marry him and then visit him in the retirement home to help him clip his toenails? Is it that kind of undying love? Unless this guy's driving a really nice car, has a great house (and maybe a vacation home on the beach) and making a boatload of money, it is not going to be smooth sailing. Chances are he fits none of this criteria. If does, then he's already married.
If it does turn out that he's reciprocal of your affections, is single and has a lot of money, do an in-depth background search. He's probably an alcoholic, a drug user, a pervert or can't keep it up. Men like that don't come without issues.
If it's making you that crazy, go to Academic Affairs and withdraw from the class and sign up for an eight-week class to make up for your lost hours.
Get real and get someone your own age level.
-Learned Leah
Want advice?
Are you racked by rude roommates? Do you have problematic parents, luckless love or sexual sorrows? Guru Gersh and Learned Leah will answer questions from both the male and female perspectives - one of us has got to be right.
Please e-mail questions to letters@webujournal.com.
Go ahead and ask us. We may not know everything, but we sure think we do.
I have a problem, or I guess it's a problem. I think I'm in love with my professor. I can't concentrate in class any longer. My love for him is really interfering with my life. I don't think he likes me back, but I'm not sure what to do. It's making me crazy!
Please help!
-Having Exasperating Love Problems
He Says:
Dear HELP,
I need more information from you. Is he actually a "professor?" If so, that is worth chasing. That's a nice diamond. If you are able to put all of your efforts into making yourself the new Mrs. (or Mr.), all of your problems will go away.
You say you have all kinds of problems concentrating in class. Why would you need to concentrate when you have him by his heart? You wouldn't even have to show up to class with him on your side.
Now, if you want to play the side of the hard-working student, it still works out in your favor. There is no better way to get good grades on your papers than being in bed with the man that knows the answers. All of the answers.
Think about what would make him just as insanely in love with you. As soon as you find that nerve, grab hold and tug hard. You will get what you want.
-Guru Gersh
She Says:
Dear HELP,
Oh please, you sound like an 11-year-old kid. "I like him. I don't know if he likes me back. Hee hee."
Crushes are cute, class distractions are not - especially if this guy's older than you. What are you going to do? Marry him and then visit him in the retirement home to help him clip his toenails? Is it that kind of undying love? Unless this guy's driving a really nice car, has a great house (and maybe a vacation home on the beach) and making a boatload of money, it is not going to be smooth sailing. Chances are he fits none of this criteria. If does, then he's already married.
If it does turn out that he's reciprocal of your affections, is single and has a lot of money, do an in-depth background search. He's probably an alcoholic, a drug user, a pervert or can't keep it up. Men like that don't come without issues.
If it's making you that crazy, go to Academic Affairs and withdraw from the class and sign up for an eight-week class to make up for your lost hours.
Get real and get someone your own age level.
-Learned Leah
Want advice?
Are you racked by rude roommates? Do you have problematic parents, luckless love or sexual sorrows? Guru Gersh and Learned Leah will answer questions from both the male and female perspectives - one of us has got to be right.
Please e-mail questions to letters@webujournal.com.
Go ahead and ask us. We may not know everything, but we sure think we do.
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